Polyamory married and dating episode 7 review
This is a bumper episode at nearly 2 hours long as we cover a lot of topics from marriage, to monogamy and polyamory, and what it takes to make relationship deeply intimate and sustainable. This is a heavy topic and if you're not yet at the stage where you've already had a fair amount of experience with women this will probably go over your head. The bonus coaching giveaway is on the subject of marriage and relationships this week. I’ll do that all day long because I know I'm not hurting anybody else.” So there was a time when social contract meant something to me. What do you think makes the difference between the people that move to monogamous marriage versus a polyamorous…? Possibility one is at the conventional level, which is, “My desire for intimacy and deep connection is not as great as my desire for exploring a bunch of sexual opportunity,” or “My sluttiness is greater than my jealousiness,” you know? So broke out of the relationship and obviously leaving his kids, and that's a bit… [Alex Allman]: I think the relationship completely melted down and exploded in his face, is what happened. [Angel Donovan]: [Laughs] [Alex Allman]: But let me just like kind of frame this because we're not trying to help Steve Pavlina – what we're trying to do is help the guy listening right now… And so I can just say that as a general case the Steve Pavlinas of the world, the way I understood it to happen, is that he was just really sexually bored in his marriage, but he wanted to be a good guy and didn't want to cheat. I wouldn’t say it's polyamory in the strictest sense where you have this open relationship and telling each other everything, because normally when you're in multiple relationships you're not telling them all the details, because realistically most girls aren't going to want to hear that, so you have to kind of get closer to be able to reveal that kind of stuff. It's like your friend’s marriage, “We never told each other about our previous partners.” [Angel Donovan]: Right, right. I mean, it would be really easy for somebody—maybe I'm talking out my ass or I don't really know a whole lot about the condition, but people with Asperger’s I can imagine could just go into this. You know, when I was doing the dating multiple women thing in my 20s, I had nothing at stake in those relationships. So, then that can be true for somebody who's married, you know? how much do you like a girl on that first date or even that first meeting?
I'll be taking the best comment that answers the question below to award the coaching. In fact, one of my old jobs was I train police officers in self-defense tactics, and I hung out with cops and I was in that moral space of, you know, “bad guys need to be put in jail” and that kind of thing. And what’s interesting is that for those friends of mine who were cops, that person in conventional morality, they can't distinguish pre-conventional and post-conventional. So the teenagers like, “I'm going to smoke pot because fuck you and your laws,” they see that person as equivalent to the old hippie in San Francisco who's like, “I smoke pot because I know I'm not hurting anybody else or I would never do it.” So the cop, to them, you're both lawbreakers. [Alex Allman]: And so therefore, “Therefore, I'm not going to cheat on you because…” [Angel Donovan]: Because I'm scared. “We should both be scared where we should be jealous and possessive of each other and…” [Angel Donovan]: Right. [Alex Allman]: “And I'm going to really try and be a good boy.” And then, yeah, that guy who's off on a business trip somewhere, he knows it could never get back to her, he'll probably cheat. Or the other way around, “My jealousy is greater than my sluttiness. Because some people just never developmentally reach that level in their lifetime. it's just a kind of a big decision to make, but he made that decision. [Alex Allman]: I don't think he made that decision completely without including his wife, by the way. And then he heard about all this like cool polyamory thing that all these like really cool, evolved, smart people were doing in San Francisco and he was like, “Yeah, that's the way I'm going to get more pussy.” [Angel Donovan]: Right. Well, I think the whole, like as you said, I think the polyamory thing is definitely a lot more complicated and it's something… They don’t have a whole lot of emotional understanding anyway, so you know, “Yeah, sure, you fucked another guy, who cares? [Laughs] This can be very true for somebody that's married. [Alex Allman]: You know, but if it works for them, it's great. Like there are times when you meet a woman and you're talking and you get lost in conversation all night, and by the way she's the hottest woman you've ever seen in your life.
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